End of 2011 Reads - Notice A Pattern?

I'm not sure if I fully realized what I was doing, but apparently, I had an "improve my life" moment at the end of 2011.  Or, at minimum, a "read about improving my life" moment.

The last two books that I read in 2011 are:

1. A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life by Bethenny Frankel with Eve Adamson, 2011 => Recommend

2. Start Something That Matters by Blake Mycoskie, 2011

Bethenny Frankel was one of Bravo's Real Housewives of New York City and founded the Skinnygirls Cocktails.  She is a hustler, a serial entrepreneur who grabs every opportunity she can to get her name and/or products out there.  I say this with admiration as I am the opposite and wish I was a bit more aggressive and more of a risk taker. 

Blake Mycoskie is the founder of TOMS (shoes pictured to the right), which promises to give a child in need a new pair of shoes for every shoe purchased.  

The shoe is the Argentinian version of the flip-flop - inexpensive shoes worn by peasants and city dwellers, worn in the field and in 'da clubs. 

With the plainest shoe priced at $44, it's an affordable shoe that has become trendy and appears on the pages of US Magazines on socially conscious celebrities - well, as socially conscious as celebrities can be living in their multimillion dollar homes.

Interestingly enough, Mycoskie also appeared in The Amazing Race (one of the few shoes - I mean shows! - that I watch) and finished second.  So it's the end of 2011 and I'm getting self-help advice from realty stars...  Sigh.  A (sad) sign of the times.

Start Something That Matters: Know Your Passion, Know Your Story

Writing about the books together makes sense since they carry similar themes that emphasizes slightly different messages.  Mycoskie's book emphasizes finding your passion and uncovering your story.

The book/movement also has a website.

"When you live your story, you don't have to pretend you're someone you're not," Mycoskie writes.  "You can just be yourself."

Similar to a company's Mission Statement, your story helps to remind you who you are, which can be easy to lose sight of given all the things that are happening to and around us on any given day.

Mycoskie found success by following his passion for traveling and helping the less fortunate.  Hearing his story makes me wonder what I am passionate about and what my story is. 

I do have passions for reading and writing, thus this blog.  But, is that it?  I'm well into my 30s and am embarrassed to say that I have not had enough self-reflection or serious thinking to know what I am passionate about or what I want to do with my life.

Mycoskie's adventures starting TOMS are interesting, but I had trouble finishing the book.  In addition to stories about starting TOMS, the book also contains business advice that I found to be a mixed bag.

For example, he talks about how micromanagement is "effectively telling people that you don't trust their judgment and that unless you're personally involved in every detail, the project won't get done right.  That attitude hardy inspires confidence."

This is spot-on insight and unfortunately, I know that sometimes I micromanage and realize that I really do need to stop.  Other advice, such as reusing business cards to save money and to show potential partners who you've been talking to - not so helpful.

Instead of reading the book, Google "TOMS" or "Blake Mycoskie" and read a good magazine article about the company or profile about Mycoskie since he is an interesting and impressive guy.

A Place of Yes: 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life by Bethenny Frankel with Eve Adamson, 2011 => Recommend

Bethenny Frankel.  Read her book!

Echoing all messages that can be found in self-help books, Frankel talks about the importance of finding your passion and being true to yourself.  She talks about the importance of ignoring self-doubt, which she refers to as "noise".

I really enjoyed Frankel's book and have already recommended it to three friends.  She mixes her self-help lessons with anecdotes from her life, and she has some good stories to tell.

The book reads like a biography with the added bonus of having basic self-help messages that are always good to have reiterated mixed in.

What I like most about the book is that she starts off by telling you that yes, you need to follow your passion (similar to Mycoskie's message) and be true to yourself, but that she is not a mind-reader who is going to be able to tell you who your true self is through her book.  You need to figure this out on your own.

Her message resonates with me since I'm at a loss when it comes to my passion and what I want my story, or mission statement, to be.  Reading A Place of Yes made me realize that I need to figure out my story and focus on achieving that story. 

I need to buckle down and to listen to myself, figure out my passions, write my story, and work on putting my story in place.  No more dilly-dallying; it's time for me to have a little more focus in my life if I want to achieve my full potential.

This is why I like Frankel's book - unlike other self-help books that I've read, her stories have made me really think about things and to take action.  And I hope this desire to figure out my story does not last for just a few weeks before I revert back to my more complacent, less focused ways, but that it leads to meaningful change.

As I write this, I realize that although I have thought about my story and passions, I still have yet to define my mission statement.  As a deadline-focused person, I am giving myself to to the end of January to figure out my passions, story and mission statement.

The Rules for World Domination...or, Just Getting Everything You Want Out of Life, which could be World Domination

The following are Frankel's 10 Rules for Getting Everything You Want Out of Life.  I know, it's a lot of rules, so it's not surprising that the book is 336 pages.

However, the book goes by quickly and I never felt like I was checking to see how many pages I had left.

1. Break the Chain
With each experience, you have the power to determine what you want to take with you, and what you want to leave behind. Remind yourself: Take it or leave it.

By making a conscious effort to leave behind the bad, you will break the chain of bad habits, bad relationships, bad decisions, and so on. 

2. Find Your Truth
Know thyself.  Similar to Mycoskie's message, know your passions and figure out your story.  This is your homework - there are no free rides to a better you.

3. Act on It
This is self-explanatory.  However, beware that "[f]ocus noise can convince you that you have to have all the details worked out in advance," Frankel writes, "but you don't."

Frankel also talks about "future noise" where you can become so preoccupied with what might happen that you forget about today.  So ignore the noise and get working on your story.

4. Everything's Your Business
Treat everything you do seriously and when you are doing something, be completely present.  Also, instead of thinking about the things that you can't do, focus on the things that you can do.

5. All Roads Lead to Rome
Go with your passions and do your best.  If you do this, you can't go wrong.  At the same time, recognize that you may have to change course and sometimes it doesn't make sense to keep hitting that brick wall.  Things change, whether it's your passion, circumstance or environment, so be open to change.

6. Go For Yours
It is time to be honest about what you want, and to start getting it.  "I don't know if people are afraid of effort or failure or embarrassed if they say they want something and don't end up getting it...," Frankel writes.

This resonates with me since sometimes I find myself not admitting what I want (whether it's a promotion or which restaurant I want to eat at) because I feel a little selfish when I do.

Also, you need to focus on yourself, and not what everyone else around you is doing.  There is always going to be someone more successful, more intelligent, more passionate than you, and focusing on these people will only distract you.  Go for yours, not someone else's.

7. Separate From the Pack
Embrace your real, authentic self.  This is easier said than done sometimes, but the more you are your authentic self, the better you will feel about yourself.

Frankel talks about "image noise" that prevents you from being yourself as it makes you act in anticipation of what others will say or think.  When you let this noise get in the way, you are more concerned about your image, which is not real, rather than yourself, which is.

8. Own It
Fully acknowledge who you really are and your actions.  If you feel a certain way, be honest about your feelings, even if you think you are being selfish.  Owning it is about being truthful and not pretending to be someone that you are not.

You don't have to be 100% sure of something to own it, you just have to stand behind and be accountable for your actions.

9. Come Together
Before coming together with someone else, you need to be true to yourself.  This is standard advice, but the next piece of advice really resonates with me.  Frankel talks about "normal noise", which will make you tell someone that what they are doing is not normal, which implies that what they are doing is not right.

Normal noise prevents people from coming together in a meaningful way as there is no objective normal and people have to find their own normal.  A warning sign of normal noise is if you use the word "should" a lot.

10. Celebrate!
Celebrate what you want more of!  Celebrate the wonderful parts of your life, or even the decent parts!  Celebrate finding a parking spot right in front of the restaurant that you are going to!  If you are not enjoying life, then what's the point?!  (I call this the exclamation mark rule!)